I was recently skyping with my parents and they had a terrible misconception of what a tuk tuk was. A tuk tuk is a truck/bike/bright taxi cab. Mom and dad, a tuk tuk is not a lady boy. We do not call them tuk tuks because, and I quote from my mom ,“they tuck their dicks in.” That is not a tuk tuk. A lady boy has other knicknames: goy (girl boy) or ladyboy. My parents need to get their mind out of the gutter for sure. Put some soap in your mouth momma. But if they were confused I thought maybe more people were confused so now I am taking the liberty to clarify what a tuk tuk was, it is the vehicle you take when you want to get ripped off by some asshole thai.
The reason why I posted Fuck tuk tuks is because last Tuesday morning, around 6 am, I took a tuk tuk back to my hotel from a night of partying. I was the only one, cause I had class at 9 and wanted to get some sleep beforehand. So I get this tuk tuk at the end of Khou San road, a road filled with bars that continue to serve booze after the clubs shut down and when legally places aren’t allowed to serve alcohol any longer. Thank God we found Khou San haha. But back to track. I picked up this tuk tuk, he said 100 baht to get back to evergreen. I bargained it down to 80, which was still a rip off. But he gave me a beer while we were driving so I geuss that’s worth the little extra. I should have known right as he gave me a beer that he was sketchy. But I was intoxicated…so I thought this was just a fun tuk tuk ride. So we arrived to Evergreen, I got out. I took out my wallet and opened it up just like normal. Just how everyone opens up their wallets and he reached in to my wallet and grabbed 2,000 baht out and drove off. Before I realized what happened, he was already burning rubber. All I could do was kick his tuk tuk and swear at him. I swore in Chinese which I think was the only funny part of the experience. So that is why I said fuck the tuk tuks. There was no ladyboy, it was a taxi. And that taxi robbed me blind. So I will never ride a tuk tuk again.
Also, I apologize for the language. I will not censor myself, I felt the censorship in China and I love my free speech. SO, sorry I’m not sorry for the language. Boom!